Fun Little Q&A

Just a little Q&A for fun:

1. What is your current obsession?
right now my obsession is the "I can't get enough" playlist that I created on iTunes. All of my favorites songs right now. I've been listening to it for over a month and I'm not sick of it yet.

2. What is your favorite color to wear?
ummm . . . are dresses a color?

3. Puppies or Kittens?
duh . . . kittens

4. What's your favorite thing to get in a food court?
if there is a good cookies store, then it has to be a good chocolate chip cookie . . . YUM Frickin YUM!

5. What is your favorite flower?
definitely daisies. They aren't poisonous to my animals and they last forever!

6. What is one of your biggest dreams?
to be my own boss. I want to open up a business called LeleGreen Creative where I can sell my photography and other creative tidbits.

7. What is your favorite dish that your mom makes?
gotta be her tacos and tortilla soup.

8. Do you have a girl crush? Someone inspiring?
Zooey Deschanel. She is just so adorable and there's something fun and quirky about her.

9. What was your favorite toy as a kid?
i loved Rainbow Bright!!

10. What is your favorite ice cream topping?
caramel. I love caramel on my ice cream. My nanny used to always have vanilla Purity and caramel topping.

11. If you could do anything today, what would you do? 
check off petting a tiger on my "Before the Fat Lady Sings" list . . . (SIGH)

Bleu

This is what happens every time we change the sheets.

Trying Not to Pee My Pants

I am so very, very excited. I get to meet with Hannah Elaine of hannahelaine photography, tomorrow!! This is exactly what I have been needing; to work with another photographer. She contacted me and said she likes my stuff (YEAH!!) and asked if I would like to assist her with some weddings this year. Here is what she had to say (ridiculous girly giggle)
hey,

i found out about your photography stuff through a friend of mine, bobby earle and i really enjoyed looking through your photos. you have a great eye for composition and seem to be really great at capturing the moment.
i'm not sure if this is something you're interested in at all but i'm a wedding photographer here in nashville and am looking for another person to help me shoot a few weddings this year. i have a few other people who help me out but every now and then schedules don't work out so i'm always keeping an eye open for someone who might be willing to do that. weddings are definitely their own sort of beast so i understand if it's not your thing, but if you're into the idea and wanna meet up for some coffee and chat about it let me know.

most importantly i hope i'm not insulting your skill by asking you to assist. i'm not really sure where you're at on the professionalism scale, but it's actually meant to be more of a compliment....seeing how i wouldn't ask you if you sucked :)

anyway, check out my site, see if you think i'm legit, and let me know! www.hannahelaine.com

thanks leanna!

hannah

p.s. maren is also a friend of mine, i loved the engagement photos!

Well, yes, yes I would love to assist you with some wedding shoots. I calmly try to not pee my pants. I absolutely can't wait to meet her and put an "I'm assisting Hannah Elaine with a wedding" note in my planner. Wish me luck!!

Nothing Better to Write

1. I was born in a car and delivered by my dad.
2. I was incubated due to a suspicious substance that appeared on my skin. It turned out to be dirt.
3. I'm an ailurophile.
4. I have been with Mark for alomost 11 years and in those 11 years I have not once farted in front of him just because I had to. Neither has he.
5. I'm terrified of house fires.
6. When I was about 7, my mom noticed that I was extra quiet and asked me what was wrong. I told her I didn't feel like I was spending enough time with my blanket.
7. I still think about some of my great softball accomplishments and smile.
8. I have kept almost all of the movie stubs from shows that Mark and I have seen together.
9. Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you. Yes, this actually happened to me, on a bus before school started . . . loud enough for everyone to hear.
10. I want to beat the shit out of people who abuse animals.
11. Whenever I go over a bridge that has water, I roll down the window and unbuckle my seat belt just in case.
12. I'm a little bit obsessive compulsive.
13. When I was a kid I wanted to be a veterinarian. When I was 24 I started working for one and . . . I hated it.
14. Both of my big toes have been broken. One still has a pin in it.
15. I've never been out of the country.
16. One of my biggest dreams is to pet a tiger.
17. Dave Matthews is my favorite band followed by Kings of Leon
18. I prefer daisies, not roses. Refer to #9 as to why.
19. Other than when I read the Twilight books, it generally takes me a few months to finish one book. I tend to read in bed and fall asleep two pages in.
20. If I were an actress, I would be Drew Barrymore.
21. I have two tattoos. One of which I should have thought more about.
22. I love, more than anything my fun to be around, supportive, loving and genuine families.
23. I have to have pizza at least once a week. Sick I know
24. I hate running/jogging indoors. It feel pointless.
25. Ghost are not real, but demons and angels are.

OCD

I admit it. I suffer from OCD. I won't leave the house until everything is checked five or six times. After that, I lock the door, unlock it and go back to check a final time. I worry about stupid things. Things that other people in their right mind tend to look at as a tiny spec of nothingness in their world of worry. I fret, whine and freak out about the toaster being plugged in when we never use it. My flat iron is always unplugged and positioned just right on the toilet seat so that it doesn't, by some freaky act of nature, fall into the trash can and catch on fire. I get eye rolls from Mark when I go to make sure the hairdryer is unplugged for the third time, making us 5 more minutes late.

I don't put collars on my cats because I'm afraid they will get stuck under something and the clasp won't break like it's advertised to do. I won't leave plastic bags out ANYWHERE. I leave the house everyday wondering if I locked the back door when I know I did. I for some reason can't help torturing myself all the way to work.

I recently saw a sign on some light posts in our neighborhood about a missing boxer. I immediately thought that this said boxer could very well have been stolen. Why not? People are desperate these days. Take a boxer, wait for a reward. Take a boxer, steal another one and mate them. Puppies equal money. Then I can't help but call my husband to tell him to make sure he keeps an eye on our boxer while she is outside. Someone could just snatch her up like that. I refused to think that it just ran away.

Yesterday, Mark and I were sitting on the couch and he notices a car, creeping, in front of the house. He starts to get paranoid, telling me to go get my camera. They could possibly be looking for Lola. The car turns around in another driveway and slowly goes the other way. He is still freaking out, holding Lola away from the window, frantically looking back and forth to see where they went. They could be stalking our dog.

Do you want to know what I said? Do you want to know what Ms. OCD/paranoid said?

"Stop being so paranoid. They are probably just lost if they turned around." Then I turned back to my magazine without giving it a second thought.

Now does this make any sense at all. I should have been up in the window with him getting a license plate number and making anonymous phone calls to the non-emergency police phone number. It's what OCD/paranoid people do. Right?

I sit back and think about these things and wonder to myself. I wonder why it's okay for me to be the freaked out one, but the moment Mark thinks something crazy, I look at him like he's just lost his mind.

Nostalgia

Living on the Other Side of Childhood (Bruce Dierbeck) wrote a blog about nostalgia. He mentioned hockey as a kid, which in turn threw me back in time for my own bit of nostalgia. When you say the word hockey to me, I don't think of men with no teeth skating around on a huge block of ice, trying desperately to hit that tiny black puck into a net protected by a masked villain with red eyes. Nor do I think of pulling your shirt over your head and pounding in your toothless face. I think of KIIIITTTTCHEN HOOOOCKEY!!!. Yes, that's what I said, Kitchen Hockey.
My sister and I are about 3 years apart in age. We grew up with two much older brothers. One of which being 13 years older than me and the other 9 years older. My oldest brother, from what I remember, was suffering from his teen rage and date nights so he wasn't home much that I remember. For the record our relationship is pretty tight now though. The effects of growing up I guess. The other one, J we will call him, was around quite often. He liked to bust you in the face, bloodying your nose with door nobs. Gender did not matter to him. He was looking to take out all of his rage from the "older brother" on someone, and he could have given a rip to the fact that I was a wee precious little girl. Blowing up GI Joes with firecrackers was just not cutting it. Well, I have to say that I'm sort of glad, because had he not been that way, Kitchen Hockey would have never been invented.
I don't know when or how he got two girls interested in the idea, but Aimers and I eagerly agreed to play. Our kitchen was pretty narrow and at the end we had a doorway. We would open up the door and use that as the goal. What did we use for a puck you might ask? Anything around that would shatter you knee caps and shins. We mostly used black electrical tape and wrapped it around two jar lids. Pads? Who needed protective pads. We were tough! Okay, maybe I would use my shin guards from softball. I have chicken legs. We would grab a hockey stick and in those famous words of Wayne and Garth, "GAME ON!"
Those were the days. Laughing and cutting up, literally cutting up our shins. J had no mercy either. You could see the fire in his eyes at the end of the kitchen as he reared back and hit a nice slapshot into your face. I may be exaggerating a bit. His eyes were yellow. He would usually come over after we hit the tile with a concerned look on his face. After seeing we were okay he would eagerly jump back over to offense and slap it again. No Mercy. We broke things, hurt each other, laughed and busted our butts. It was some of the most fun I ever had as a kid.
J always had great ideas for indoor games. Hallway football was a favorite past-time. We may have stopped that one after we shattered the hall light two or three times and a vase of our mother's that we desperately tried to bring back to life with all the super glue in the world. Carpet burn was the much suffered injury for that one. Bedroom Baseball was another favorite. We would use one of those little bats from the Sounds games and wad up a piece of paper for the ball. Yeah, we ended that one when my sister broke my shin in half with that tiny bat as she swung and I sat on the dresser. Ok, she didn't break my shin in half, but I went abruptly from hysterical laughing to intense pain and surprise. I was the one that always go hurt. Looking back, I would do it all over again though. Well actually, I might make Aimers the goalie more often.

Oh, the good old days.

My Christmas Tradition

I was thinking back this morning on my Christmas traditions as a kid and trying to remember what my favorite thing about it was. My decision was made and my favorite tradition was Christmas stockings. I loved stockings so much that I decided I would send one to two of our nieces in Virginia.
Every Christmas morning, I would wake up, after going to a midnight Christmas Church Special, at about 7am. I still do for some reason. After rubbing the crud out of my eyes and giving a meek little yawn I would realize that the butt of a stuffed animal, one I did not recognize, had found it's way from the toy store on to my bed. I was filled with excitement. After looking out the window and finding to my UTTER disappointment that there is yet again, no effing snow, I would go and kick my sister around to wake her up. Giant stuffed animals and blankets in hands, we would run and grab nothing but our stockings. I know, stockings are usually filled with the odd piece of candy, socks, some fruit and a candy cane, but our mother really knew what she was doing. She would spend hours wrapping earring sets, necklaces, fun lotions, great scarves and hats, little toys, makeup and just about anything fun a girl would want, she found a way to jam it into that stocking. I would sit for about an hour not even paying attention to what awaited me under that tree. There is one tradition that makes me want to have kids.
It is a pretty great time of year when you get to see the look and actions of kids. I tend to always buy something wrong for Mark and don't really get the same reactions as I would get from a kid who just opened up a Wii. I going to go a tiny bit off subject and thank my mom this Christmas for everything she has ever done for us to give us more that she ever had. She struggles everyday and I know her heart is unhappy with a ton of things in her life, but she always has a smile, warm hug, advise and unconditional never ending love, reserved for each of her 4 children and their spouses, and 7 grand-children. The love she has for her friends and family is one to be admired. It's hard to have a heart like hers in a world like this and I commend her for that. Thank you mom for all the late Christmas nights, for the hours spent shopping and wrapping and stuffing stockings. Thanks for the oranges and candy canes, the Christmas cookies that only our family loves to eat, the nights spent with you and dad watching Christmas Movies, the thought you put into each person and the whole heart you manage to give to everyone and everything you do.

I wish I could give you the world. Merry Christmas and I love you.

My Celebrity Playlist

I was just wandering around through iTunes and came across some celebrity playlists. I really like the idea of putting together those lists so I thought that for the day I would pretend to be a celebrity and create my own for everyone here to check out. So I've put together a list of about 20 songs that I could listen to every day over and over and never get tired of hearing them. I would love to hear your top five favorite as well. Here you go.

1. "You Are My Sunshine" – Johnny Cash: Although he is not the person to originally sing this song, it is still my favorite version. I don't know why buy I get goose bumps every time I hear this version. It was also my grandmother's favorite song.
2. "Grey Street" – Dave Matthews: I guess it's typical for the indies of my generation to favor Dave. The band is my favorite. I love Grey Street because I relate to it all to well as I think many people could. At times it almost mimics my thoughts.
3. "Soon We'll Be Found" - Sia: I love a lot of Sia's stuff. If there was one artist that I could spend a day with it would be her. All of her songs and videos are so deep and creative. I would like to take a day and just swim in her mind if that were possible.
4. "Use Somebody" - Kings of Leon: I can't help but just love this song and pretty much everything about this band. The best band I can think of from TN.
5. "Pieces" – Red: I love the intro here. I believe in God and his teachings and I can't help but think of Him when I hear this song. It's almost an irrevocable feeling not matter how hard you try to fix it.
6. "Snowden" – The Doves: Ok, this song is just pretty fricking cool.
7. "Sour Times" – Portishead: This song takes me back. It's one of those songs that launches you into the past. When I listen to it, everything about my day becomes 1995 again.
8. "I'll Be Seeing You" – Billie Holiday: May seem a bit cliched but she is definitely my favorite artist of her era. I fell in love with this song when I heard it. I love the smooth feel of the song and her voice makes you want to melt.
9. "California Dreaming" – The Mamas and the Papas: I went through a stage where I wanted to be a hippie and I listened to this song over and over. One because it made me feel like I lived in the 60's and two, because I so badly wanted to go to California and sing on the streets with my guitar. I thought listening to this song would help me figure it out. So naive, I don't have a guitar.
10. "Colors" – Amos Lee: I really enjoy his sound and this song is so touching. Wether you are in an intimate relationship or not, how wonderful would it be to be the one to bring color into the world of someone else.
11. "Blue Sky" – Patty Griffin: – Whenever I hear this song I feel like I can do anything. Patty Griffin is one of the best artists out there without question.
12. "Trouble" – Ray LaMontagne: I get lost in this song when I hear it. He puts so much passion into his songs. It's almost like he's in a different world when he's singing them at the same time bringing me to that place.
13. "Winter Waltz" – Jim Brickman: This song makes me feel like I'm in a dream. It's so incredibly beautiful.
14. "Green Eyes" – Coldplay: I have green eyes and it's the only song I've ever heard about green eyes. It's about me =0).
15. "Up To the Mountain" – Patty Griffin: – OH MY GOSH! Everyone needs to hear this song. I think it can be such a revelation to today and how we all feel. I cry almost every time I hear it. It almost takes your breath away.
16. "Both Sides Now" – Joni Mitchell: I can't really tell you why I like this song. I just do.
17. "A River Flows" – Yiruma: Oh if only I could play the piano I imagine that I would play music like this. I often put this song on repeat.
18. "Moonlight Sonata" – Beethoven: I have loved this song since I was a kid. I can't remember where I first heard it, I just remember listening to it constantly. It sounds so mysterious. I love mysterious. I listened to it for the first time on cassette tape.
19. "Never Think" – Robert Pattinson: The struggle of love. I can't get enough of this song. Thanks to Twilight for bringing it to light.

and last but not least . . .

20. "Tricky" – Run DMC: I can't help but bust a really bad move when I hear this song. I could be in the middle of the grocery store and hear this song and you would see me dancing. It's definitely my favorite hip/hop song.

There you go. Let me know some of you favs. Love you guys!

Wuv, True Wuv.

Last night Mark and I celebrated our 3 year anniversary. Nothing special, just a pizza and "What Happens in Vegas". I don't think I have ever laughed through and entire movie in my life. We are going to be having a very nice dinner and proper celebration on Friday. McDonalds and Walmart. Woo HOO. No seriously, J.Alexanders and lots of nookie. What? Did I say something? I lost you at McDonalds didn't I? Now, Mark is not the type of guy who gets you something before hand, where as I spend hours upon hours searching for or making the right card. Yesterday morning I had my card all ready to go and decided I wanted to wait to give it to him in hopes that maybe he thought about this before hand. We showered, talked, got ready for work and rode to work together. That makes for a difficult task when your pants are down. Through all of that he never said a word. Well, he was about to get out of the car so I popped the card out of my purse with a sly grin. I think he may have peed on himself right there realizing that not once had he thought about what the days' date. He apologized about a thousand times and even came back out to the car to say 'I love you, happy anniversary'.
Mark is the kind of guy that does everything at the last minute. He's the kind of guy that can't keep a secret or surprise you. He will say stuff on you birthday like, "Well, I'll be right back. I have to go get a little supim supim" as he winks at you as if to make you think he's being sneaky. He'll even say stuff on Christmas like, "I know you wanted this but I couldn't get if for you but here you go" all the while the look on his face is revealing that he got you exactly what you wanted. He's so unsneaky, which is why I wasn't surprised when he tossed a card into my hands when I picked him up from work. He was probably kissing Krogers doors. Bless his heart, always one step behind.
For a while now, I have asked him what it is that he loves about me and he can't really come up with anything. It bothers me even though I know without a doubt that he loves me deeply. The card he got me was a funny little husband and wife cartoon card. He wrote "I love you more than words can say." After I read that he told me he would work on trying to be better with words, which is funny because he was so great at them years ago. I mean, I didn't fall in love with him because he told me he wanted to touch my boob. Get me? Well as we were laying on the couch together, he lifted my face up to look at him and said that he was really happy to be married to me and how much he loved me. He didn't move his eyes away from mine, like he was trying to use a super power to burn it into my head. It meant a lot to me.
Three years, 10 years and 9 months (yes I mean 10years and 9 months) later we are still trucking. Through all the dirty laundry (literally), arguments, beard shavings in the toothbrushes, stolen covers, un-flushed toilets, obnoxious toilet paper use, annoying dog, crappy car trouble, mood swings, college, high school, personality changes, weight gain and loss, and much much more, we are still here. As much as I want to be alone sometimes because I have never really gotten to be, I can't imagine one moment, or one day for the rest of my life without him. I mean how can you live without a guy who dances naked in the middle of that hallway before he gets in the shower. You just can't. He's gonna kill me.

Obsession

Ok, so never in my life have I ever been completely obsessed with one thing in particular. I have recently developed an, ironically insatiable thirst for the Twilight Saga and the movie due out in November. I cannot get my face out of the books. They feel so real, as if this could happen to you at any moment. You can almost feel the characters breathing. The cast is phenomenal as well. Many people have said that Kristen Stewart was plain for the role and that Robert Pattinson was to ugly to play Edward Cullen, the deliciously loving and dangerous vampire in the book. I beg to differ. Plain or not, Kristen Stewart has an allure to her. Something mysterious, strong, yet so evident which is what brings out her beauty. Plain, I think not. Robert Pattinson brings the same and when you see him, you know how hard he works to make every character the best it can be. His gazes, his voice, his posture and smirks. They were all carefully thought out and then owned. Ugly, I most certainly think not. Two beautiful people portraying the characters exactly as I had imagined. Perfect. Well, with one exception. I was Bella of course, but Kristen will do. (grin) From the trailers that I have seen, no one else could have portrayed them any more perfect. No one else could have made you believe they were none other than Edward or Bella. Absolutely astonishing to me.
I have finished the first two books in recored time; record time on my watch anyway. I am drowning in anticipation to get to the third and fourth and finally see the movie whose trailers I haven't been able to keep my eyes off of for days. This is going to be one of the biggest events in their lives and obviously a much anticipated saga for all of the readers. I don't think the actors even had a clue as to what they signed up for. Get ready guys. Super stardom is on a countdown for you and it will be here in 31 days. Stay cooped up in you apartment as long as you can because when you come out, all hell will break loose. Your life is never going to be the same. You have just created the ultimate love story of your generation. Something all they guys will have to live up to and all the girls will have to try and be.

I Peed in the Lake

I've been sitting and thinking about what I could write today, or yesterday, or a week ago. I've decided. I will talk about my "I can't pee in the lake" syndrome. Yes. I cannot do it. The last two times I have gone to the lake, I have had to swim to shore and squat in the woods. I constantly get razzed about it, even by my husband. They all make it sound so easy when in fact, aside from wakeboarding, it's the hardest thing I have tried to do.
This past weekend I went to the lake with some friends for an end of the summer/beginning of fall softball season. We had drinks, food, kamikazes going down slides and busting noses and me . . . swimming to shore with my flip flops in hand ready to drown from the mile long swim that Michael Phelps would have mastered in half a second. Believe me, I try. I try so hard I think I might shoot my entire bladder out, but nothing happens. It's almost as if there is zero gravity for my bladder when I'm in water. It just sits and floats. This wasn't a problem when I was 5. Here I am in the woods squatting, with who knows what watching me. Creepy. I begin to make my way back to the boat and once I'm there, struggling for my life to make it in the boat, I decide that I just need more beer, because there is not way in HELL I am swimming back to shore. That's it, beer will certainly help keep my mind off of peeing in the lake and then, I will just do it. Soo, no, that didn't work either. As I am sitting in the boat in pain and not wanting to swim back to shore and look like an even bigger douche than I already am, I realize that everyone is on one side of the pontoon boat and the other boat is anchored on the other side. There is a step and a ladder on the other boat. One of my friends is sitting in the boat and as I begin to make my way to the other boat, she keeps an eye on me.
Now the ladder on this boat pushes into the step. It can come all the way out, or just a little, not dipping into the water. I came up with the clever idea to kind of make it a make shift toilet seat. I pulled the ladder out just enough to where I was sitting above the water. My friend peeks around and says "Anything yet?" Oh, she's onto me. 'Nothing yet'
As she turns away . . . sssssssssssssssss. Awesome! I grab my noodle ( I'm talking about a swimming noodle for you with the dirty mind) and swim away. When I bob my head out of the water, what do I hear but HUGE applause. "LEANNA PEED IN THE LAKE!!!!! WHOO HOOO!" Well, thanks to my make shift toilet and everyone being on the other side of the boat, peeing success was possible. I can guarantee you that it probably will never happen again because I won't have a pontoon boat posing as my bathroom door. I will be swimming to shore, slipping on rocks and living up to my last name.

I Can

I consider myself a bit of a graphic designer. Yes, I went to school and got a degree in Design Communications, but that's all it did for me. It helped me communicate how I felt about design but not really how to do it. Right now I design books. I want to do so much more but I don't know what, where or how. For the longest time I have been completely down on myself about the things I do because they seem so . . . so . . . already done. I've been struggling to find the place I fit in in the design world. Every time I see something awesome I think 'I can't do that and will never be able to'. Somehow today, my mind changed all that for me. I was watching a making of an animated video and quickly thought to myself 'I can do that'. I caught myself and almost told myself that I must be jerking my own chain, but it's true. I can do it. There are ways and all it takes is a little understanding of time and patience from others. I realized that it's all gravy if you just work hard enough. Now, let's figure out what I want to push towards. Web Design? Animation? Advertising/Marketing? Who knows. I will make one of them work damnit.

Plop Goes the Lewis

On my lunch break today I decided to go to Borders and check out some Photography and Design Magazines. I went in grabbed a few and tried to soak up any information they had seeing that they are all at least $12 per magazine. Once I finished, I carried two around with me; contemplating their purchase. As I did this I remembered that I am almost finished with a book and figured what the hell. I'm in a bookstore, I might as well see if there is anything else interesting not full of stupid cliches or stupid politics. I remembered that I had written down a few C.S. Lewis books that I was interested in. I have seen that some people really appreciate his writing and I also remember my grandmother always trying to get me to read the Chronicles of Narnia. Right now I have some others in mind though. As I am looking through the religion section, I am not finding one book Lewis. I turn to go on the other side, scanning the shelves realizing that I am now in a religious fiction area and that again, Lewis isn't in it. About 10 feet away from me stands a guy putting up books. Just as I am about to leave the section, with my over priced magazines thinking 'I need to get back to work anyway', a book hits the floor about halfway between me and the book shelving dude. This book was a small paperback book. Not likely to make the noise it did for me to be startled and him to turn around, see it on the floor, pick it up and put it comfortably in it's place.

When I turned around to see him walk to the book and pick it up, I realized that the book said "The Srewtape Letters" I looked closer . . . "C.S. Lewis". It was as if this book jumped off the shelf and said "WAIT!!! You were right here, just come a bit farther!! Don't give up on me." I stood there awe struck for just a minute. The "dude" asked me if I was ok. I shook myself and said yes I'm fine and he went back to shelving. Now, not only have I heard great reviews about his books, but I also know that he is quite the famous Christian author. You can see how I could be awe struck. I feel that I, for some reason, am supposed to read some of these books now. Without a doubt I feel that there will be a lesson to be learned and God is trying to reach me more creatively as I am Him. Things like that don't ever happen to me . . . EVER. It blew my mind.

How does that happen? I turned around and a probably 96 page or more book jumps about 2 feet off the shelf and lands with great noise to get my attention. I bought "The Four Loves" and I can't WAIT to read it.

(Note: Borders website was being stupid, so if you want to know about any of the mentioned books, just go visit Borders)

Size 14

Monday I went shopping for a bridesmaids dress. We tried on I think every dress in the store with only one to our liking. Although it was to our liking we didn't buy it because we wanted to wait for another to come in first. The whole time we are in there I am struggling to get even one dress zipped all the way. It's miserable feeling like a fat cow in a gorgeous dress. Looking at the sizes make you want to rip out your hair, stomp your feet like a five year old and pee all over the dress. We left hopeful that this other dress would come in and make us all look Angelina Jolie Glamorous. The very next day one of the dresses comes in . . . in a size 10. I go to try it on and I am jumping out of my panties, because not only is it a size smaller than all the other dresses I tried on, it actually fits with a little room!!! It looked great and I felt great. No peeing on this dress. I asked the woman assisting me if I should go to a size 8. She looked at me with an "I don't think so look" and then tugged on the dress with a "Well, I'm surprised, you aren't as fat as you look" look and tells me she thinks I could go down a half size, but not a whole one because I wouldn't be able to breath. Um shut up. Who cares about breathing anyway? I put my name and size down just in case this is the one and I wait.
Yesterday. Oooohhhhhh, yesterday! The girl who assisted me calls me to leave me a message. I am excited thinking that all the girls have tried on the dress and are ready to make their purchase. I listen to my message . . . OH HELL NO!!! You have to be kidding. She calls me only to tell me that no one ever really looked at the tag and it was actually a size 14! Well, maybe if I punt her butt out the door I could lose the extra two inches. I about started crying. Looks like my fat butt will be eating salad and ex-lax for 4 months. Right after I have pizza tomorrow that is.

Survey Says

Guess I'm trying to make up for my 5 days of postlessness. My mom sent me this survey. Just sharing all those personal stupid things about me.

Have you ever made out in a car?
* . . . and more ;0)

last person you danced with?
* Kylie

Would you take any of your exes back?
* No way.

When is the last time you cried and why?
* Ummm . . . don't remember

What is the last movie you saw in theaters and with who?
* Hancock with Mark the Shark.

What are your plans for this weekend?
* Sounds game Friday, ball tournament and possible dinner with friends or concert, pantless party Sunday night.

Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?
* It gets old when it eventually becomes substituted for you actual name.

What's irritating you right now?
* My thong.

Is there anyone you wish was still in your life?
* Grandma, Nanny, M.A.

Is this year the best year of your life?
* My life isn't over yet. Ask me when I'm dead.

Do you have a best friend?
* A few

Who was the last person you cried in front of?
* Lola, although she isn't a person.

Anyone upset you lately?
* Oh yeah!

The next time you will kiss someone?
* Tonight when he gets home.

Last thing you drank?
* Captain Morgans

Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?
* YUP

Would you marry for money?
* What does he look like? Hahah, juuuust kidding. Absolutely NOT!!!

Have you had braces?
* Just call me brace face.

When you watch movies at home, do you like the lights switched on or off?
* We watch porn a lot, so . . . off.

You sleep more on your back, front,or sides?
* up, down, in, out, front, back, side, tummy . . . I studied the Kama Sutra of sleeping.

Do you get along with your parents?
* They suck. All they do is buy me things, fix my car and give me hugs, kisses and praise. I WANT CRACK!!!! WHY CAN'T MY PARENTS HOOK A KID UP!!!! love you.

Have you ever had a birthday party?
* It would be a very sad life if you have not had one birthday party in your life. I still have never had a surprise party.

Last hug?
* I gave sky a big hug before I left. Yes, I count animal hugs.

Last high-five?
* For some reason, that is one of Marks many ways of communication so, yesterday. It's as if he's hoping that somehow his high-five with penetrate energy from his brain saying "get me something fruity to drink". It doesn't work.

How do you feel about your life right now?
* Stressed and cornfused. There is a lot that I want to do and can't figure out which path to focus on.

Explain why you last threw up?
* Food poisoning for GoTen and according to a poor passerby in the Girls restroom of Dan McGuinness it smelled like an old hardees cheeseburger.

What woke you up this morning?
* first, Lola beating up her kennel with a bowl, second the iHome and third, Mark relentlessly slamming bathroom drawers and products on the counter as he gets ready for work. Oh, and a couple of his toots that he thinks I can't hear. HEY, YOU ASKED!

Is there a person of the opposite sex on your mind?
* Hillary Clinton . . . oops. I just can't figure that one out.

How's this week been?
* Slow, boring, blah, blah.

Ever kissed someone with a name starting with a K?
* yes.

Have you been pressured to do anything lately?
* Smoke Pot and run around in the street naked while shouting "It's GLOBAL WARMING!!!!"

What happened at 11:30 am today?
* I farted.

See, Speak and Hear No Weight

So yesterday it was time for me to have my once a year girlie appointment. This is most definitely not my favorite place to go seeing that you get fondled in to many places. Any way, when I my name got called I was taken first and foremost to the dreaded SCALE! The nurse says it so delicately to. "Ok sweet heart, we need to get your weight first". Can't we just skip this and say we did it? I can give you a guesstimation? I make my way to this scale that to me looks like one of those giant, how strong are you gadgets at the fair. Well, probably a lot stronger that you might think. I try as I step on to the scale not to see, speak or hear any evil, none of which are possible. First I see. The nurse slowly moves the little black weight right, then right . . . right some more. Hmm, right again all the way to the end. Still a little on the heavy side. Maybe it's my shoes and the 4 inches of hair that I have grown out of my head in the last nine months. I again see her move the bottom black weight and again start pushing the top one to the right again. FINALLY, after what seems like an eternity of weight screeching, she stops and then . . . then I hear. You know, I CAN see what it says on the scale. You don't have to say it out loud. What are you trying to do, rub it in? Get it through to me? Give every other person in that clinic a confidence boost? DAMNIT! At this point I become painfully aware that I have gained 10 pounds in 9 months. That is when I speak. I kick myself in the teeth and then say a few choice words to myself that I know were heard. I guess I failed at the see speak and hear no evil. All in all I could have gotten away from all of them but they tend to put up all the morphine when I come in.

Competitive For No Good Reason

Anyone who knows me is aware that I have been a bit of a jock since I was 5. My dad, through my screaming and tears, put me in cleats and a jersey when I was 5 to play my first game of softball. Story goes that the first time I actually hit the ball, I never turned back. This sport consumed my life. So much so that all my vacations were at a ball field in Florida instead of on a beach.

I like to think that I was pretty damn good at the sport. I was always on the all-star team as a kid, on the best travel teams, came away with a few awards in high school and in college. My friends will probably tell you that I was a bit intense. Not so much as some people, but to them it was a good laugh. No one ever took it as seriously as I did. I thought it was what I was going to do for the rest of my life. Obviously that didn't happen. I get out of college and I have no idea what to do with my afternoons. You would think that any normal person would be swimming in the freedom, but I felt so incredibly bored. I waited until May for summer ball to start and ended up playing co-ed slow pitch. I guess you can call it the losers way of hanging on.

I have played co-ed for about 4 years or so. I do enjoy it, especially since I get to play with a few of my favorite college buddies/players. We laugh and cut-up and kick everyones ass. Well, last night I realized how ridiculously competitive I am. We had a make up game, making this the third game out of 5 or so that I have attended due to rain-outs. We had two extra players come and play with us. They were both a little younger and, like me, played fast pitch or, play fast pitch. I wasn't having the best offensive night. I was hitting hard, mostly to short, having to beat out the throw. I had a few good hits other wise. Well, one of the new girls started hitting shots and burning the guys in the outfield. This is something that I usually do. At one point she hit one that took off and when I got in one of our guys said "Looks like we have another LeAnna on the team". Now I have no idea why, because again this is co-ed, but I was most certainly in denial about this so-called "other LeAnna". I was thinking to myself, 'yeah right' there is no way some little chickie is going to come in here and think she's better than me. After that, I started asking my husband really stupid questions prompting him to be all "OH GOD, HERE WE GO AGAIN. GET OVER IT!".

I'm not really sure where to go from here. Do I find a Softball Rehab Clinic or just kick myself in eyeball. I really miss the sport and the competition, but I think last night was my breaking point to realizing how pathetic I actually am when it comes to playing that sport (slow or fast). I guess it's really hard to let go of the only thing you were ever good at and, harder to find something else you can be good at for the rest of your life.

Tuck in Your Skirt

Today I am wearing a skirt. I am usually a jeans and a nice top or dress kind of girl. I think I possibly have developed a slight phobia of skirts. A phobia that developed when I was a Overton Vols Basketball JV Cheerleader at the age of 10.

If you ever cheered when you were that age (circa 1990-92), you know that 1) The uniforms were uncomfortable due to the fact that they were made by the mothers and you had to wear a turtle neck under them. 2). You had to wear bloomers with extra tight elastic around the legs cutting off circulation to your feet. I would still have an elastic mark 24 hours after I took them off. Well, during the year they would have an awards banquet with all the basketball players and cheerleaders. At one point I remember going to the restroom during one of these banquets. When I came out there were two boys who walked by me and busted out laughing. It was painful. I thought 'Oh God I really am hideous. My mom is a liar'. I turned and kept walking only to have one of the mothers stop me and pull my skirt out of my bloomers in the back. I can still feel how hot my face got. Hence the development of my skirt phobia.

Today I will check the mirror 5 or 6 times and then convince myself that I am not imagining my skirt down; that it really is down, before I leave the bathroom. Although if my skirt does get tucked into my skirt today, I think I would probably get a whistle or two from the guys instead of a laugh. There will still be that mom that comes by to let me know though. Women never change. I guess neither do men. They just eventually realize what a lifted skirt represents which is why they now whistle instead of laugh.

Glad I have on good undies today . . . just in case.

Can't Seem to Figure It All Out

I am trying to figure out where my sudden bouts of depression come from. I am also trying to figure out why I can't just cheer up and get over it seeing that I know I'm doing it. For me this is strange. One minute I'm a happy camper and the next I feel like I am lost and that I don't belong anywhere. Everyone would tell me I'm just being stupid, but it is actually something I feel I have started to battle. I know Mark is getting really tired of it. I can just as quickly ignore him as I can give him a kiss. I get so caught up in what isn't that I can't seem to be happy with what is. The worst part is that, like I said, I recognize this but can't seem to do anything about it. Everything and everyone around me is great, but for me there is something missing and not in sync. I hate getting deep and emotional, but sometimes you can't help it. Sometimes you just need to get it out but don't want to worry others with you "ifs ands and buts".

I miss my mind being in a state of accomplishment and being proud. I haven't been able to find that feeling in about 4 years now. It comes and goes in spurts too. It never stays for a long visit. I find myself overly motivated one day to the point that I can't even make sense of my thoughts and so unmotivated the next that I feel like just another average spec going through daily life. Some people are happy doing that, but I'm not. I'm not happy being indecisive and unmotivated and too motivated. None of this makes sense. Hence the reason I am writing it. I get so listless and bored when I can't find drive in my life. I really hope that this blog helps me put one foot forward. I don't how much longer I can tango with my mind.

I Was Thinking

Here is how we should dress for work during the week.

Monday: Get out of bed, into car, drive to work. We all know what that one looks like.
Tuesday: Maybe shower this day, jeans and a t-shirt.
Wednesday: Put some effort into because you may be going to church or having a meeting.
Thursday: Tacky day. Put on whatever you feel like. Pig tails are a must along with cowboy hats and rain boots.
Friday: Going out Clothes (i.e. halter tops, tube tops, skimpy dresses and too much makeup and perfume) This way there is not need to go home, get ready and get a late start on your weekend.


Just a though.