Here is what I did this weekend:
Friday night I went to my parents church to set up tables for a surprise party we were throwing for my grandfathers' 90th birthday. I took the keys and the alarm code that was supposed to work and proceeded to set of the church alarm. For about 30 minutes Mark and I were going inside and outside talking to my dad and ADT while a robotic voice kept warning me to get out of the building. Mark decided to tell me that we would get booked if the cops came. Um sure, whatever you say there darling. I personally don't think that they will arrest us seeing that burglars usually don't sit around on the curb waiting to be arrested with flashing signs saying "Come Arrest Me. I'm the Thief that Broke into the Church". Anyway, we finally got in, set up 100 peoples worth of tables and waited for my parents to get back from their drunken night at longhorn. After waiting for about 2 hours, losing two games of horse and some dirty talk my parents finally made it to the church in their giddy drunken stupor so we could go home.
Saturday I wake up ready to move and get this party on the road. A few nights before, mom and I ordered some balloons for the party. We neglected to look at the size of the balloons on the packages. Three nines, three zeros, one over sized "happy birthday" all about half my size along with 10 latex . . . wait, 9, oh damnit . . . 8 latex balloons were stuffed into my car. I drove home pretty much with my head out the window so I could see the road. All of this and not one of those suckers popped. I am magnificent! Well, we get there, get everything set up, get the blue cake, yes the blue cake, out, the pictures up and the alcohol out. Let me just tell you, old people don't hesitate to jump right on it. There was a hord of people hovering around the drink table. My grandfather finally came in, surprised as ever and not getting one second to eat. Never in my life have I seen or known a man as loved and respected as he is. I was in awe at the number of people who came and at all of the passionate and caring words they had for him. I can only hope that I am still as intelligent, wise, respected and loved as he is when I am 90. After it was all over and everyone has a blue mouth, I got sent home with half of the leftovers while my brother and sister-in-law bolt out the door with what was left of the alcohol. What a bunch of stingy lushes! I finally get home, put my feet up and rock myself to sleep telling myself I will never do this again.
Sunday I wake up, stiffly get out of bed and try to walk only to realize that I am slowly inheriting my mother's bad knees. It's time for me to clean the house, go to the store and get ready for the rugrats and the rest of the fam to come over to celebrate them being overtaken by the urge to have children. So yesterday was filled with high pitched children, a bunch of "I didn't do its", or "she took my chips", crayon all over the floor, "CHICKMUNKS!!!", chinese new year calendar, tear jerker cards, jokes between siblings, stories from long ago, one dog on top of my mother-in-law, two exhausted parents/grandparents, leftovers and wouldn't you know it, those lushes aren't stingy after all. The night ended with a few beers, a lot of "YOU HEIFERs" and a 5 year old crying because her braids were too tight.
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE MY FAMILY. HAPPY MOTHERS DAY AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDPA.
Friday night I went to my parents church to set up tables for a surprise party we were throwing for my grandfathers' 90th birthday. I took the keys and the alarm code that was supposed to work and proceeded to set of the church alarm. For about 30 minutes Mark and I were going inside and outside talking to my dad and ADT while a robotic voice kept warning me to get out of the building. Mark decided to tell me that we would get booked if the cops came. Um sure, whatever you say there darling. I personally don't think that they will arrest us seeing that burglars usually don't sit around on the curb waiting to be arrested with flashing signs saying "Come Arrest Me. I'm the Thief that Broke into the Church". Anyway, we finally got in, set up 100 peoples worth of tables and waited for my parents to get back from their drunken night at longhorn. After waiting for about 2 hours, losing two games of horse and some dirty talk my parents finally made it to the church in their giddy drunken stupor so we could go home.
Saturday I wake up ready to move and get this party on the road. A few nights before, mom and I ordered some balloons for the party. We neglected to look at the size of the balloons on the packages. Three nines, three zeros, one over sized "happy birthday" all about half my size along with 10 latex . . . wait, 9, oh damnit . . . 8 latex balloons were stuffed into my car. I drove home pretty much with my head out the window so I could see the road. All of this and not one of those suckers popped. I am magnificent! Well, we get there, get everything set up, get the blue cake, yes the blue cake, out, the pictures up and the alcohol out. Let me just tell you, old people don't hesitate to jump right on it. There was a hord of people hovering around the drink table. My grandfather finally came in, surprised as ever and not getting one second to eat. Never in my life have I seen or known a man as loved and respected as he is. I was in awe at the number of people who came and at all of the passionate and caring words they had for him. I can only hope that I am still as intelligent, wise, respected and loved as he is when I am 90. After it was all over and everyone has a blue mouth, I got sent home with half of the leftovers while my brother and sister-in-law bolt out the door with what was left of the alcohol. What a bunch of stingy lushes! I finally get home, put my feet up and rock myself to sleep telling myself I will never do this again.
Sunday I wake up, stiffly get out of bed and try to walk only to realize that I am slowly inheriting my mother's bad knees. It's time for me to clean the house, go to the store and get ready for the rugrats and the rest of the fam to come over to celebrate them being overtaken by the urge to have children. So yesterday was filled with high pitched children, a bunch of "I didn't do its", or "she took my chips", crayon all over the floor, "CHICKMUNKS!!!", chinese new year calendar, tear jerker cards, jokes between siblings, stories from long ago, one dog on top of my mother-in-law, two exhausted parents/grandparents, leftovers and wouldn't you know it, those lushes aren't stingy after all. The night ended with a few beers, a lot of "YOU HEIFERs" and a 5 year old crying because her braids were too tight.
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE MY FAMILY. HAPPY MOTHERS DAY AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDPA.
Posts
sorry I wasn't there for the "You heifers"--Cele's a lot of fun when she gets to that phase. Sorry too, that I got so cranky there before we left. All that wind had whatever crazy pollens that reek havoc on my eyes, whipping around in a frenzy and I felt not only like my eyes were lubed up with day old rubber cement, but like there were about 10 loose lashes tucked up behind those lids as well. I was miserable.
ReplyDelete