I'm Amazed

Well I have to say that the concert went well. We heard some great music, went to the port-o-pottie one to many times, ran into a friend or two and fell down the hill without spilling our drink. Ok, so we didn't fall down the hill, disaster head did. No, no, to my disappointment she didn't get hit in the head with a drumstick, but she did fall on her pancake and slid right down a hill. Very gracefully I might add again to my disappointment. Then we got into a heated debate with a complete stranger about God. He was an atheist. That was about how well it went. Sorry I don't have anything more interesting to report on the disaster prone but I think she read my blog before we left and decided that she needed to keep her pancake in line or else utter humiliation would occur. I'm AMAZED. So all that said, we had a fantastic time and you all need to be listening to some My Morning Jacket.

Concert

I am going to a concert tomorrow with the one who is a magnet for disaster. I am about 85% positive that she will get hit in the head by a drumstick . . . in a crowd of over 1000 people . . . in the very back . . . sitting down in the grass . . . while everyone else is standing up. Then we will get VIP because the drummer feels terrible. Yup, I'm predicting it to happen. I will let you know how it goes.

Accident Prone

I love my sister-in-law, but really? How can one person be so prone to retarded disaster. Let's see, first her daughter sits on her hand and breaks her pinky. Then she has her husband try to pop it back in place only for that not to work leading her to need pins in her pinky. Then, it's in it's healing process only to be broken again by daughter number 2. How?!!! My goodness, let's not hope anything else happens, Oh . . . WAIT! She goes to a beach and her boob falls out in front of a ton of on-lookers and her father. I don't see how it could get much wor . . . Spoke to soon. Here is my accident/embarrassment prone sister-in-law on July 4th in Georgia at a party in a culdesac. I can see it now. She's doing her thing and enjoying the night and fireworks, probably telling someone her boob story when suddenly BAM!!!! She, and I'm not even kidding, gets hit in the leg with a firecracker. Yes! Out of 60 people in a huddle, she's the one that gets hit and ends up with second degree burns. How does this happen? We are supposed to be going to a sounds game tonight and let me tell you, she would be smart to put on a suit of armor. Knowing her it will turn into a Fever Pitch type of moment where she gets knocked out by a foul ball. I guess it would only add to her arsenal of horrifying stories. None of which have any kind of lesson to be learned really. Unless you count her, "Don't eat Wendy's before a surgery" lesson. I will leave that one to the imagination.

The Beach Incident

Ok, although I wasn't at the once in a lifetime event, I have to say that my sister-in-law asked for it. Yesterday, as I was just about to start my afternoon job, my phones starts to ring. I pick up the phone and inevitably here "Hey heifer." That is her pet name for me. Well, we begin, or more like I begin talking her ear off about things that have been going on since she's been out of town. After about 20 minutes, I finally break for air and allow her to talk. Boy am I glad that I did. My sister-in-law can be a bit of a drama queen so when she said "I have to tell you what happened", I'm thinking that she did something so grotesque that she made her sisters water break. No, no, it's even better than that. Here is her account of what happened that fateful day on the beach:

"Well dad, sis, Zoe, Aiden and I decided to go to the beach. I grabbed Zoe and started to go out so that she and I could rides some waves. (Zoe is her munchkin). So we're out there riding waves and having a great time and then all of a sudden I see this big wave coming and Zoe is all "Here comes another one, a big one" I said ok are you ready, let's go and hold on. Well, right as we were about to jump the wave broke a little earlier than expected and knocked me off my feet. I pick up Zoe, both of us sputtering delicious salt water and trying to catch out breath from the unexpected bashing from the wave. As I am doing this I can hear my dad yelling at me. I'm thinking 'oh gosh he thinks I'm out to far'. So I start to make my way back into the shore and my dad is still yelling at me. What is his problem? All of a sudden he bursts out laughing still yelling my name and once I get closer yells "PUT YOUR BREAST BACK IN." OH . . . MY GOSH!!! I WAS MORTIFIED. Not only were there a ton of other people at the beach, but my poor dad had to see that. It could possibly give him nightmares for the rest of his life; or a great story to tell at poker games. So, I casually tuck in my double D and as we are moving towards shore my daughter says "Mommy, do we have to go back in because your booby fell out?" 'Yes sweetie, that's why we have to go back in'. Oh my poor dad."

All I have to say is, sis, stop wearing teeny bikinis that barely cover your assets. If you want to show off your stuff, there are nude beaches for that. Love you.