Didn't Need that Paycheck

Oh thanks, I didn't need that paycheck anyway. My wallet is drained, almost down to the last penny. Why you ask? Well because, didn't you know that September is also Christmas for my family. The number of birthdays in my family for September alone is enough to kill Donald Trumps Wallet. Now usually, after you hit about 23, you stop getting gifts. Cards with perverted jokes and attacks on your age are now the joy of your gift opening. To bad for me that most of the gift receivers are under the age of 6. Cake, toys, clothes that get tossed aside with abrupt force and tons of kids running and screaming "CAAAAAAKKKKKEEEEE, PREESSENTS!!!" I have 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, and almost 9 birthdays that are celebrated in September. This month needs to be a forbidden month from here on out for birthdays. That goes for anyone I know. NO SEX FROM DECEMBER TO MARCH!!!! EVER! I will not allow for it. Picture me standing over you head with a pitchfork, squirting spermicide in you face, throwing condoms, sponges and birth control of every kind on you until the weight of them allows you to can hump no longer! Only from December to March though, because we need another birthday in September like we need a new butt hole.